Welcome!

Hi everyone!

I should have started this blog a little over a year ago when I was sick everyday, and before I was diagnosed with achalasia. Achalasia means "failure to relax" and (according to www.mayoclinic.org) is a "relatively rare disorder of the esophagus (the passageway from the mouth to the stomach) that makes it difficult for food and liquid to pass into the stomach." Which is exactly what it is: difficult (to live with). What this means is that literally every time I take a couple of bites of food, I have to (excuse me) throw up. The food (and even drink - water is a pain some days!) gets backed up in my esophagus making it difficult for me to breathe, as well as it being relatively uncomfortable just being able to feel it sit there.

This all started about the beginning of October in 2008. After about a week of "eating" lunch and dinner, I realized I kept getting sick and was not able to keep my food down. I called home crying and my parents knew there clearly was a problem. I had an endoscopy done (they stuck a tube down my throat and ballooned it open so I would be able to start eating) and my doctor thought I had something called Schatzki's Ring, a narrowing of the esophagus that causes difficulty swallowing. That helped for a little but, but after a couple of weeks, I kept getting sick. I had another endoscopy done and after that one, the doctor came in and told my dad," I don't think she has Schatzki's Ring after all." He ordered a Barium Swallow test and that clearly defined my disease: achalasia. Achalasia can be fixed in 3 ways, the way that will work for me is surgery because I'm young and "healthy." Once my surgeon comes back from a vacation out of the country on November 9 (rough life) I'll be scheduling surgery and getting everything fixed! The surgery will be done laparoscopically and is a 2-4 day stay in the hospital, a 2-3 week recovery, and a 6 week liquid diet. Hopefully, by the start of the new semester, I'll be good as new!

This is a "day-in-the-life" sort of thing with me, a young adult living with achalasia. People take many things a day for granted: living in a house, being able to drive places, even walking. What people may not understand is that to me, people take eating for granted. That sounds silly and petty almost stupid, but there are sometimes I go without eating for a couple of days in a row just because I literally cannot eat anything, and it comes right back up. There are some days I cry because I'm hungry. There are also some days that I can eat a little bit of food; it just depends...some days are better than others.

This is not in any way, shape, or form a pity party for me. I've been living with this for a little over a year now and it's sad but I'm used to it at this point. Some days are harder than others, and at this point, I'm embarrassed to go out to eat because I have to get up frequently in the middle of the meal. It shouldn't be something to be embarrassed about, but it bothers me, so I try not to eat out often.

All of my family and friends have been very supportive of me living with this. My good friends understand why I have to get up every few minutes or so, and understand when I come back with my eyes red, or little dots around my face. I don't tell everyone I have it, but people know I'm being different. I've lost 51 pounds from this disease, and it honestly couldn't have come at a better time. I was very unhealthy, and losing all of this weight hasn't been done in a very healthy matter, but it's happened regardless, and it's something I can't help.

I'll be updating this frequently, just telling a little bit of this and that about living with the disease. It's hard, it's frustrating, and it's something that is now a part of me. I hope this makes people more aware of what achalasia is, and helps people to understand why I do what I do.

Thanks, and happy reading :)